masking & unveiling

Has it only been two weeks?

It seems like two months ago that we crammed our entire house into the Ford, sold our souls to Exxon, and hauled the family away for a fortnight at the beach. But reality is creeping back in like gray fog stealing over the water, threatening to hide the new horizons God has let me glimpse on this trip.

Time has a way of shrink-wrapping you with a thousand identities: daughter, sister, student, wife, mom, church planter, worshipper, writer, designer, singer, friend. Over the years I’ve added them all to the list.

I can get lost under all that plastic, giving little gift baskets of myself to people I love and people I don’t, as I try to make peace in the relationships and rules of life. Sometimes it takes getting away from my usual places and patterns to come home to some simple truths about myself.

Here are just a few that I’ve let slip away in recent months:

1. I like getting up early. My day is always better when I start it myself instead of letting the kids start it for me.

2. I need to be alone for at least an hour each day. Without uninterrupted space to clear my head of life’s noise, my mind becomes too cluttered to hear God’s voice in the busier parts of my life. And in a house of five, remembering #1 is about the only way I’m going to accomplish #2.

3. I am a better wife, mother, and friend when things are clean and organized. That doesn’t make me obsessive-compulsive; it makes me NICE.

4. I need my family. They are inspiring and challenging, and my call to serve them is the biggest reason I don’t melt, Wicked Witch-like, into a puddle of my own steamy selfishness.

5. I can do nothing apart from Christ. No thing. The idea that I can do anything on my own is an unseen anchor that inevitably leaves me sobbing on the deck, blaming myself for my lifeless boat, and leaving no way for God to fill my sails and move me toward the next port.

We’re packing up tonight. I’ll be adding myself to the list of things to bring back home.