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Wednesday, August 13
what's in a name? nothing, apparently.
My first name, Kelly, means war, strife, bright-headed. I can jive with that: I'm very stubborn and argumentative, and my head is shaped somewhat like a light bulb.
My middle name, Ann, means graceful. And here, I have to say my parents missed the mark.
Case in point:
Yesterday at about 4pm, our cable box started shooting out cryptic messages that appeared to be of satanic origin. After debating between calling a priest or the cable company, I decided on Brighthouse. They promised a technician within 24 hours, but with less than four hours to go to the start of Olympic coverage, I derided their lack of patriotism and decided to drive the box in for an exchange.
In searching for the cable office, I drove past it. When I turned around to get back to it, I drove in the exit instead of the entrance, almost hitting a car that was coming out.
As I got out of my truck, my foot caught on the running board, and I stumbled and fell. When I got up, I went around to retrieve the cable box from the passenger side of the vehicle, where I slammed the door on my leg.
I limped a few steps to the door, and as I grabbed it, my phone fell and broke into three pieces. When I bent down to pick it up and put it back together, most of the remaining contents of my purse dumped onto the sidewalk.
I eventually gathered up my things and stepped inside, where the customer service representative informed me that I didn't need to return the cords, only the cable box itself. I tugged forcefully to remove the connectors, and the cords flew up and hit me in the face. When I finally rolled them up to take them back home with me, I dropped them. I leaned over to pick them up, and my phone hit the floor again.
A nice man who had witnessed this entire scene smiled sadly and opened the door for me on my way out.
He stood safely behind it, just in case.
My middle name, Ann, means graceful. And here, I have to say my parents missed the mark.
Case in point:
Yesterday at about 4pm, our cable box started shooting out cryptic messages that appeared to be of satanic origin. After debating between calling a priest or the cable company, I decided on Brighthouse. They promised a technician within 24 hours, but with less than four hours to go to the start of Olympic coverage, I derided their lack of patriotism and decided to drive the box in for an exchange.
And so, the gracefulness begins:
In searching for the cable office, I drove past it. When I turned around to get back to it, I drove in the exit instead of the entrance, almost hitting a car that was coming out.
As I got out of my truck, my foot caught on the running board, and I stumbled and fell. When I got up, I went around to retrieve the cable box from the passenger side of the vehicle, where I slammed the door on my leg.
I limped a few steps to the door, and as I grabbed it, my phone fell and broke into three pieces. When I bent down to pick it up and put it back together, most of the remaining contents of my purse dumped onto the sidewalk.
I eventually gathered up my things and stepped inside, where the customer service representative informed me that I didn't need to return the cords, only the cable box itself. I tugged forcefully to remove the connectors, and the cords flew up and hit me in the face. When I finally rolled them up to take them back home with me, I dropped them. I leaned over to pick them up, and my phone hit the floor again.
A nice man who had witnessed this entire scene smiled sadly and opened the door for me on my way out.
He stood safely behind it, just in case.
4 comments:
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This had me laughing out loud (Although, I am at work, so people probably think that I am crazy)! This sounds just like something that would happen to me :)
Have you ever had one of THOSE days?!?!
Sounds like Satan didn't want that box to go back. Maybe you can write a sequel to "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."
(BTW, Kenneth is of Celtic and Gaelic origin, meaning "born of fire; good looking; handsome." I'll take that.)
Sounds like Satan didn't want that box to go back. Maybe you can write a sequel to "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."
(BTW, Kenneth is of Celtic and Gaelic origin, meaning "born of fire; good looking; handsome." I'll take that.)
Kelly--I can so feel for you! That is something that would happen to me over and over again! Thank you for something to laugh at during a time when I just want to cry!
Hey Kelly - guess what my middle name is... only with an "e"! Being the non-graceful warrior woman that I am, I like to think of the meaning in more spiritual terms. I makes me feel better on those cable box days...